when you love a person
letting him go for a better
sometimes it hurts you too much
we have to be strong and lead a good life
wipe your tears when they drop
look at the new door that has opened up when you don't even realize it
don't turn back cus e old door had already closed and left you long ago before you even know about it
starting a new for the better tomorrow

Jenny Balai
Singapore Institution of Management
10/09/1988
green brightens my life
friends light up my life
commented by friends:
i born in Medan
i grew up in Jakarta
i spoiled in Singapore
i wanna fly with SIA in the near future
i wanna leave the past and start a new cus past hurt me too much
i love behaving like a bimb when i am chilling my gilrs
accept me,i behave this way

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January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009

i am back to blog again..
i went to dragon's house for visiting today..
was so happy to see his mum,dad and nephew..
but my present seemed to let him feel uncomfortable..
why??
only he knows the answer..
my heart ached a little when his dad told me something..
i feel love there by his mum and dad..
but we have to move on,no more turning back..
everything changes too fast too much..
stop there,put e unhappiness aside..
i went to meet my friend today..
had dinner and movie..
as usual we talked too much.haha..
i don't know why i can have so much stupid jokes and etc..
thanks for making me happy whenever i meet you..
we watched a great show..
wedding games,was alright actually..
but i really love the theme song 'ave maria'..
play for you ppl when i get married ok.hehe..
how i wish my day will always stay this way..
accompany by all the nice people..

1o over years friendships that never end..









time for hard rocking....










my mum..




























look at her..so adorable..

strawberries that my niece plucked..











i am blessed to have them with me..

hi ppl..
i am done with my packing..
ready to fly tmr:D
so excited to see so many relatives after a long time even though i don't like some of them..
i miss my mum..
i am a lousy daughter that don't show my love for her:(
yes yes...
i will enjoy my holidays..
i will collect lots of money back..
but i don't think so i will spend it all there as well..
can't wait to see all my primary schl friends..
let's chill people..
see ya singapore in 5 days time..
hopefully i won't be enjoying myself so much till don't wna come back..
happy new year everyone..
catch up soon people..
bye..

This is a crazy world
These can be lonely days
It's hard to know who's on your side
Most of the time

Who can you really trust
Who do you really know
Is there anybody out there
Who can make you feel less alone
Sometimes you just can't make it on your own

If you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
Well I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am

If you have broken dreams
Just lay them all on me
I'll be the one who understands
So take my hand

If there is emptiness
You know I'll do my best
To fill you up with all the love
That I can show someone
I promise you you'll never walk alone

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
Well I'll always be your friend

When you need a shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am

Everybody needs somebody who
They can pour their heart and soul into

If you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need a shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for the pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, Here I am

hi ppl..
i finished my assignment..
good to go..
tmr my off day..
skipping accounting cus need to rush for marketing project..
where should i go after that??
meet my friend?but which one will be better for me to spend with before i go??
actually i have someone in my mind that i want to spend with..
but i think is not possible..
anw, these few days i am surrounded by many many Ryanssss..
wondering why out of sudden pop out so many of them.hahaha..
Ryan1(my best colleague).Ryan2(my senior from sec schl).Ryan3(my schoolmate)..
maybe it's just so coincidence that so many ryanss appear.haha..
one more day to go??
should i go and visit someone before i go??
gals,who will be that person??
even my gfs don't know..
what's in my mind??
what i want in my life now?
who do i need now??
nobody knows,cus i also don't know.lol..
i just want to enjoy my life and stay happy without anymore tears in my day and night..

hi ppl..
i am so bored now..
but i have a good news..
friday i am off..
there are so much things to prepare before i go..
who should i spend my off day with this time round??
i have contacted all my primary school friends in indo..
we are going to meet..
yes yes..after a few years..
i can see my closest friend on earth finally..
i miss him so much..
i will see all the childish funny faces that have turned into mature good looking men and women..
i will see my puppy childish love too..
and he will see the grown up me..
my five days will be super packed..
i have many many plans..
so excited..
btw i was very pissed with e landlord of e place that i work just now..
how i wish i could punch her right at her freaking face..
i wasn't wearing my puma uniform,not even e shoes..
but i was wearing my friend jacket..
then she said 'lata u must wear ur jacket till checkpoint then u can take out'
i was like whatever lar auntie..
then i think she saw my face expression,like kinda hack caring her.haha..
she asked ' did u hear what i say?i said,then..
she said ' repeat what i said'..
hello auntie, who do you think you are to ask me to repeat what u said...
my beloved mum also never ever ask me to repeat what she says...
don't make me angry i will punch ur face.lol..
don't order me around!!!!!!!
one day i will be the landlord and i will ask u to sweep the floor.zzzzzzzzzzz.........
idiotttttt.LOL...
saving money to get i phone??
u think i will know how to use it??hehe..
maybe...
long time no party..
my friends and i were planning right after i come back we will go..
maybe the street party..
anyone interested???
at cityhall on 31st january..
but some ppl that i don't like,they are going...
to see those ppl eeeeeeuuuuuuuuu..........

why am i still up so late??
i am doing my marketing assignment that is due this saturday..
suddenly my laptop gave me e best gift ever..
hang at e best time when i had fully done my typing..
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz........
yest which was a few hours ago was my off day..
i thought i would spend my off day rotting with noone..
nono...
i seriously can't stand being alone on my off day..
i will feel so devastated as if i am wasting my life u know.lol..
please understand cus this is the only day i am free from all the work..
i met topin for dinner at indo resto..
we headed for a movie 'bedtime stories'
it was a great movie..
finally after a long time..
i had a good laugh and entertain ..
released much of my stress..
before we headed home we went to play bb..
had a good game there..
we talked and we laughed..
e reason why i feel comfortable with him around maybe mainly because we are Indonesians.
i guess we shared a common topic..
not only towards him but to all my indo friends especially yanto(steven) the rubbish king..
topin thought me many many new indonesian words that i have never come across in my whole life..
i feel so useless..
but now i am better citizen yes...
somehow e indonesian incline fever is in me now..
i want to be like them,i want to speak fluent and without any slank indo language..
i will be better one day..
e next outing with him probably after CNY..
my off day became so wonderful and meaningful with his jokes and company..
thanks..

hi ppl..
i am having a bad day today:(
let's talk about what happened yesterday..
yest was work matter that bothered me..
e manager got nothing better to do,complaint about me.asshole..
he said i MIA for many many hours.lol..
only god knew about it..
after work i went to clarke quay.hehe..
but this time round no drinking,no clubbing..
good girl nah??
my friend and i walked around e flea market..
ended up bought a top from there..
headed home at 12..
i controlled myself,no drinking for e night..
cus e next day which is today,i need to company my friends to go church..
gosh..
i went to church with yanto,surya and andreas..
so holy today..
i feel so home..
cus everyone is indonesian there..
i think it's time for me to be a real indonesian again..
i am alright with church but if i have to be one of them...
i have to think ......................
again when i went to work another complaint from e supervisor..
i really don't understand why this people are so mean to me..
i stayed in e store room for a while and e fatso called my boss and complaint..
WHATEVER~~~~~~~
i am seriously v tired of work u know..
i feel like quitting this job cus of my complaints..
so many untrue bad records..
anw,random thoughts of mine..
now it seems that singaporean guys don't attract me anymore..
for e very first time i will listen to my mum advice,be her good daughter ever..
she often told in e past,we are different from them..
no matter how hard you try to bring it together it will never happen..
it's true mum..
finally i understand..
so indonesian only from now on.hahaha..
let e last person that had stepped into my life be e only one and e special one in my heart..
i will never forget about you..
cus u made me feel love once before..

hi world..
today i went to my major major shopping for CNY..
i am done with it..
got all the stuffs that i wanted to buy..
i am ready for my new year visiting..
i am gonna be a sweet little princess for my mum..
bought many decent dresses..
my mum gonna love me..
maybe she might plan a date for me.lol..
i miss her a lot..
i can't wait to go back on next sat..
i will be away for 5 days..
work again tmr.zzzzzzzzzzzz..........
jakarta i am coming:D

i am having milo for my dinner now:D
i guess i will lose a lot of weight if i continue to do this..
i was too tired to eat at work,wasn't that hungry too..
but when i reached home,i felt hungry..
so milo is enough for me..
tmr major shopping for chinese new year clothes..
i can't wait..

back again..
now let's talk about today..
boiboi fetched me after work..
we went to somewhere nearby river valley..
guess where i went??
i went to the colourful bridge,the one that i went on my 17th birthday with someone..
was a nice chatting day with boiboi..
we talked about many things..
mainly all nonsense..
thanks for being there for me:D
i am happy now..
happy with my life now..
no more tears in my day and night..
nobody will know how to appreciate me if i don't start to appreciate myself:D

yest was my off day..
i was damn happy finally i had the chance to rest..
after rushing for my assignment,i went to meet my friend to celebrate his b'dae..
we had no idea where to go..
we decided to go cafe delmar with our funny dressing..
we talked and rested,putting all the stress aside..
we ate dinner at e thai restaurant i always love to eat..
a great day that worth to spend..
happy belated birthday,pin :D

hi world..
wondering why am i still up till this late??
i have just finished my assignment,i left with the typing part..
i don't think i will do well this time..
it's so hard for me to find time to do it..
i even have to steal some time during work to do it..
i am not gonna work that hard anymore..
i am so tired of work..
after 7 days of working,finally i am off..
never been so tired and no life before..
but not bad i slowly letting it go bit by bit..
not so sad anymore,i have seen the light.haha..
chatted with boiboi before i did my work..
he is still so funny as ever..
going riding soon when he is out..
okay..
now the story begins..
i called arena just now..
i wasn't sure i will get my watch back..
but anw i tried..
OMG...
e girl told me'jenny u are god damn lucky,is here'..
someone returned it to them..
godness...i found it back..
i couldn't wait for my work to end..
when i knocked off,i went down straight to arena to get it back..
clarke quay was very quiet..
i went there,i felt scared,my drunk scene.OMG..
anw i got my watch back..
but ya wasn't in a good condition,i will send it for repair lata..
god still gives me a way..
i will always treasure my watch from now on,no more next time..
reason being,it always keeps me accompany even though he is gone..

hi world..
i am super tired..
spending sometimes on my assignment but didn't get anything out of my head..
let's talk about yest..
i went arena with my girlfriends..
was a damn fun night..
half of the time i didn't really know what i was doing.actually not at all..
till this morning the scene suddenly appeared..
OMG.shit......
i did e best damn thing..
what happened there remained there..
i was super high super drunk super duper mad..
this time round drunk with no tear..
that's good,i must keep it up..
all usual when i woke up blue-black all over me..
i lost many things..
i need my watch,without it i will feel uneasy...
why am i so so stupid..
exactly like what u said.sigh..
i will find my way to get it back..
my whole body is aching now..
so many stupid scenes that happened yest..
but i don't remember them..
i am glad to have my friend with me all the time yest..
i really brought trouble for him yesterday.i am so sry..
my girls took care of me too..
but after that they were too high,so ya..
was a good fun relaxation night..
but not worth me losing my beloved watch..
return it to me plss.............