when you love a person
letting him go for a better
sometimes it hurts you too much
we have to be strong and lead a good life
wipe your tears when they drop
look at the new door that has opened up when you don't even realize it
don't turn back cus e old door had already closed and left you long ago before you even know about it
starting a new for the better tomorrow

Jenny Balai
Singapore Institution of Management
10/09/1988
green brightens my life
friends light up my life
commented by friends:
i born in Medan
i grew up in Jakarta
i spoiled in Singapore
i wanna fly with SIA in the near future
i wanna leave the past and start a new cus past hurt me too much
i love behaving like a bimb when i am chilling my gilrs
accept me,i behave this way

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January 2009
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sigh..
totally so not productive today..
look,we could even take pictures while we were studying..
shit,om came today to add on to all e great time we have..
fun studying with them but doing well in exams i really hope so..
anw,i finished a few more chapters of marketing today..
gonna continue it after work tmr..
guess what time will i be working lata??
8am..in the morning..
goshhh..hopefully i can wake up..
i am chatting with Topin now..
he told me today is Saturday..
really??
i guess i have been studying too much..
that does not mean that i have no life alright..
at night i will be going down to clarke quay to plan for Yanto's bdae..
i will help u cinta..
don't worry..
i will hire a thai girl for your bdae present.LOL..

new skin..
nice huh??
a refreshment while i was having my revision break..
i studied at novena today..
i had so much fun with all the mad guys..
we laughed from e time we met till the time we left..
i can seriously laugh till i die when i am with them..
my awesome friends kept me occupied with their dirty uncensored jokes..
back to study..
marketing zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..you are killing me..
chang long ,boiboi and e rest we will meet after my exams..

people is raining out there..
studying makes me feel so dry,so god send some drops of water.haha..
i was talking to my baby sheldon yesterday.lol..
he told me i am too playful..
in some ways i agree..
he said even i have a new boyfriend,i will get bored of the person very soon..
you know me too well baby..
cus of talking nonsense to him yesterday,i couldn't wake boiboi up this morning for his guard duty..
omg,i am sincerely sorry boi..
i tried to wake up but i think i went to sleep again.haha..
at least i woke up at 4 plus for u know..
but didn't call you.LOL..
thank god i didn't make e morning call otherwise you will give e best thing to me which will make me puke.HAHAHA..
i am smart in a way..
off to novena now..

he doted me since 5 years ago..
and till now,it's still the same..
he is always there for me whenever i am down..
i cried when someone hurt me,he would be there to listen to all the shits..
when my family blamed me for leaving him,he protected me by saying that was his fault..
that's how nice MELVIN MARTIN MUSA can be..
i want to be pampered by him throughout my whole life..
he loves me..
he loves me more than anyone else..
and the most important thing is i have never been replaced by anyone before..
not like other heart that can change and turn to a new easily..
I MISS YOU CINTA..

back from work..
so early today cus i have my way out.haha..
why my life is so boring nowadays??
study study and study..
i will be good for e next 2 weeks..
after that i will back to my happening life with my crazy friends..
i guess i took too much panadol again..
i finished e whole box within 2 days..
i couldn't help it,e pain nearly killed me..
and i had to endure it during work..
now i feel super sleepy..
i am going to see doctor tmr..

interesting chat with frederick..
he is a nice guy who loves my perm hair.weirdo..
sigh,another same case whereby they try to hold on to e relationship but they are not happy..
why??why??
i am not happy at all to see things like quarrels and break-ups..
cheer up,hold on tight to it don't let go..
e key word is appreciate e other party..
look at her/his good points..
forget all e bad memories..
and be happy together..
and don't look at other girls.haha..
and don't flirt with me.lol..

exams please faster go away..
i am like totally a little geek and nerd cus of exams..
next events after exams are yanto's b'dae at sabai sabai i guess and am's bdae at sentosa and cafe delmar' ..
get to party and party..
i felt that i have been stalked by someone,was talking about it to sheldon just now..
2 days,he followed me from behind,i am not scared but i am irritated..
i will kick you if you follow me again..
i am gonna sleep..
study wasn't effective..
good night people..
lovelove

i don't know why blog has been my best hang out place nowadays..
my girls have been too busy with their own lives..
we have never met since a long time..
see,not that i don't like hanging out with e girls alright,for those ppl who wonder why am i always out with e guys..
i am tired of school and work as usual..
i can't effort to think of any other things..
this interesting lines..
i think is quite true and it sounds realistic..

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
DO I??
i am too afraid to open it and close it with separation again..
maybe i am not that strong after all..

i am so tired..
just came back from work..
have been at city hall these few days..
i promise my boss i will not get anymore complaint and if yes i will resign..
i studied a few chapters of human resource at work..
i think is hard for me,now i think managerial accounting is much more easier..
i sat at j-co alone,looking at my notes and drank tea..
i felt that i have grown up..
somehow i can be independent now..
anw,i am super troubled..
someone help me decide..
should i stop at diploma and be air-stewardess??
should i continue my degree at RMIT?
or should i go to University of London?
i want to go to that school of london..
but do i have the capability to be there and last there??
not about graduating,everyone will of course graduates one day..
but graduate with your first class of honour..
can you imagine how people will look at you when you have that??
actually not only e image wise,i am thinking of the pay wise..
although i am not that smart yet to be in that category but i believe somehow i can do it..
but my family members doubt that i can actually strive in it.sigh..
how???
i am afraid i cannot be one of the best too..
there goes e nagging from them..
london,why are you so scary??
and expensive.haha..
i will decide real soon..
econs and finance= stalk experts
mathematics and finance= teacher or lecturer..
which one will suit me better??
give suggestions please??

went to double o yesterday..
wasn't that fun cus i had no mood out of sudden..
i didn't really dance as much as usual..
but the funny part was i helped the waiters to clean the bar.lol..
i kept cleaning the table using tissue..
they must be thinking this mad girl why keep cleaning and wasting our tissue.hahaha..
another new stunt that i did.haha..
i kept slapping hueiwei for no reason..
thank god he didn't get angry..

i was too bored and i wrote a note of 25 randoms things that happened in my life on facebook..

1.when i was in k2,i was cheated by my teacher to dress as a boy and let e girl sat on me..shit you teacher.don't let me see you again..i tell my mum.hahaha..

2.primary was my fighting period.i was a big bully..i loved to fight with boys till e parents came and look for me and i had to hide somewhere cus i was scared.lol

3.i often fell down for no reason even the ground was full flat,somehow will trip and tada..on the floor..few times ended in e drains..i hated that..painful and smelly..

4.my stupid maid poured hot water on my leg..one moment i thought i will be living with that ugly leg..
mum nearly sacked her..stupid u,pain u know..

5.i got big blue black on my forehead when i was walking without looking at e ppl sleeping on e floor,and guess what...
big big blue black..that was when i was young..i fell down easily but not anymore,sometimes only..

6.i have a nice cousin who always dote on me..

7.i am scared of dogs cus i got bitten before,i will bite them back on day to let my fear goes off..

8.i joined chinese dance in sec schl cus i entered e wrong one and quit after 2 days of me doing splitting..crazy,i am not that flex..

9.i joined judo instead thought i was tough enough..guess what my coach always said about me??
soft,not fierce,weak legs and hands,and no fighting spirit.haha..
i admit all those are quite true..i always got shocked during competition when they started with a shout,got scared and quite fast later TADA..on e floor..

10.i used to love watching WWF WWE, my sister got mad and off the tv..no sense of fighting u..

11.i used to be in love a guy from my secondary school time till recent..he was nice and i thought he will be the one..but nonono........

12.i love chris brown even though he bullied rihanna.haha..

13.i love to blog,but don't be busybody to read about my life if u are not close to me..

14.i believe in friday e 13th as bad thgs happened to me,i fell from ladder..

15.i will be bimbs when i am with amrita,farhana and farlinah..it comes naturally..

16.i am getting lazy for school and i am afraid of exams..

17.i have phobia for a new man in my life..

18.i love to chill with my indo boys and crap all we can..

19.i want to be an air stewardess after i am done with dms..i am nt sure whether i can but just try..

20.i hate people who can't do anything better in their lives but make complaint complaint..

21.i can't tolerate unfaithfulness,if u are please go away..

22.i play childish games when i am bored like dressing up,cake mania,wedding dash..and many more...

23.i hate working cus i always get complaints..

24.i don't eat beef and mutton cus they smell milky,vann said i ate pregnant beef.LOL..

25.i am happy right now..single life is GOOD..many friends want to be single when their relationships get too long.boring,tied down and no freedom..report here report there..quarrel her quarrel there..so sick...CHILL...

nice picture..



he wasn't touching me..

today wasn't my day at all..
i received the best damn valentine's gift ever at work..
i am almost got dismissed from work..
but wasn't sad about it..
i was hoping i really will..
cus i am super not comfortable with the working environment..
i have never come across a workplace with many many backstabbers in my entire life..
started form tangs,that's hell..
tangs is the only workplace that i will not fool around..
but i will still get complaint..
and e complaint is from one freaking busybody who loves to suck up to e supervisor...
get ur own life man,bitch..
i moved a little when i listened to music she went to complaint..
u have nothing better to do in life,whore?
then be a whore..
today raffles city was my biggest mistake..
total embarrassment when you got caught for slacking.omg..
i was called to e office as if i am a secondary schl kid..
many people looked at me and my 2 other friends..
i received nothing but warning letter..
i rather be dismissed since i am working with so many complaints..
i hate my workplace..
i told my boss e truth but why he didn't let me go..
i want to go,i want to leave..
look, i am not a person who can cover all e shit that i have done..
unlike e full-timers who always can find their ways out when they MIA for long..
i am always e unlucky ones who often get caught for it.shit..
anw,that wasn't enough..
in addition to my sufferings,i fell from the ladder when i tried to take my stock..
better still,after falling from the top e customer didn't even buy..
got bruises everywhere.holy shit..
but but..
for all the bad things that happened..
i received two good things from my beloved bestest friend Sheldon and my working friend Fredrick..
they are so sweet..
at least they brightened my day with their sweet gifts..
today is valentine's day..
couples out there have a lovely day..
show all your love before it's too late..
before that someone turns away with another person.hahaha..

hi people..
i am back after a long time..
i had been too busy with many many assignments..
now we are done done done..
no more assignments..
left with the upcoming exams..
i will start my mugging soon..
i guess we did very well for our video presentation today..
e audiences were laughing all the way..
hello, we were acting in it u know..
u think we are clowns huh:D
but thanks for the support,friends..
i will upload it v soon..
e file went missing somehow..
i went for major shopping..
i supposed to accompany amrita to get her stuffs but as usual i am e one doing the shopping..
bought super many things..
i bought a black jacket,a vest, 2 tops and a high waisted skirt..
shit..i didn't know how much i spend..
i am tired looking at those people at town busy preparing stuffs for their gf or bf..
meiqi is one of them..
it's just a v day after all..
girls,go get busy for all ur men..
good if ur guy are good man what if they are not,u get nothing out of it but SHIT..
so girls,chill...don't waste ur time on those things,pamper urself more..
i am happy i don't need to spend on all those anymore:D

someone can be just f*** up in my life..
and please don't ever appear in my life anymore..
cus i seriously don't wish to see your loser face to appear again..
f*** off if you understand English alright!!!!!

tired tired tired..
why am i still not sleeping at this time??
cus i have just finished my assignment..
we still have many things to do..
edit edit and edit..
life getting so boring now..
fell sick for e past few days till now..
vomit cough fever all at one time..
what can i do??
we had fun photo taking sessions today..
surya,yanto and rey came out with stupid or brilliant creative idea, i am not sure about that..
we are supposed to create a new product for marketing..
but somehow their product seems unrealistic.haha..
they are creating a dream machine.lol..
guys u think we are living in the doraemon's world??
if that gonna happen in future,can i order in advance??
i will be ur first customer..
but e guys really put all their affords in it..
never see them so hard working before..
i will pray hard for them to get A..
i will upload e pictures soon once i get it..
many many stupid and nice pictures..
except some stupid scenes that they didn't say it before they asked for my help..
but i left with no choice otherwise i will spoil their dreams..unrealistic..
guys no more next time..
good morning ppl..

shit...
i am having high fever..
my body aching..
e same old sickness occurs again..
all e pain will come together..
fever,cough,vomit, body ache..
but i have to endure all these shits cus i have to go work lata..
boss why are you so cruel..
i feel so weak now know..

for a moment i thought i lost my ic..
shit..
but no,i left it at my work place yesterday..
i talked to sheldon just now..
sigh,he always makes me realised what i have done wrong..
he said that i have changed a lot..
why am i always drinking and clubbing..
shel,i don't want this type of life too..
i don't know what am i doing seriously..
i need to get back to my normal life,like e nerd me..
but how??
someone got to control me otherwise i will still be like this..
i never even touch my lecture notes before since school started..
last time i used to revise everyday cus there was someone who would remind me to study..
but know i don't even care,good enough i still want to attend my lessons..
one reason is because i am too tired after work but another big reason is because nobody pushes and encourages me..
imagine,7 chapters of managerial accounting has been covered by ng kai teck but i know nothing at all..
how??
i will suffer at e last min..
this time round i can't help my friends anymore..
i will wish my life will get back to normal..
too happening life can be very tiring at times..
i want to study but can someone pushes me to do so??
alright..
i promised sheldon that i will try to get back my past life..
he also said he will quit smoking..
sheldon knows me too well,even though i will pretend to be toughed in front of him,he knows that actually i am not happy right inside me..
that's why he is my best buddy ever ever..
my gfs are so busy now..
where are you girls??
when then can we meet up..
i miss you girls..
i need some girls' talk..
i am bored of sharing my problems with men..

i went to a new place to work again..
guess where??
raffles city for today..
so near yet so far..
that place is hell man..
so many back stabbers,so many mean aunties..
and one very super irritating supervisor who loves to act big..
keep scolding me for no reason..
mad man..
but thank god among e bad ppl there are still some angels around..
like aunty daisy and fedrick..
e rest are all crazy people do nothing but complaint about others..
again i have to pass by chjimes cus that's e only way for me to go home..
i saw 5 or 4 Ferrari(black,white,orange and yellow) parked outside e church..
wowwwwwwwwww........................
must i always pass by there if i work at city hall..
sigh..

morning ppl..
wanted to go church today with my friends but i couldn't wake up..
and also i think it wouldn't be nice if yest i went for drink and today i pray for forgiveness..
who did i went with??
who else,of course my wildest friend ever steven(yanto)..
we went to a pub at chjimes..
e place was good,e live band was entertaining..
ppl u can try next time..
i saw edwin bro.sigh..
again same old thing happened..
he asked me to talk things out..
bro,but how?? i don't know what to do..
leave it as what it is,will that be better for us..
i seriously don't know what are you thinking now?? tired..